Why is consequence so important?In one thing, all education experts agree: consequence is indispensable. Your children need to be able to predict how they will react (If I do not brush my teeth myself, it'll be mum, but dental care must be, there's no exception to that). Inconsistency, on the other hand, leads to confusion and uncertainty. (Sometimes I have to brush my teeth, sometimes I can not, I can handle a bit of theater often, but sometimes my mom gets really angry.)
Do not confuse consistency with rigor. Consequence just means that you stand by your word once you have pronounced it. This applies to an announced zoo visit as well as to rules of conduct for the bedtime.
Therefore, consequence is a safety factor for children. It is unfair to change the rules constantly, or to use them infrequently, as this will make it very difficult for your child to learn proper behavior. Of course, it is sometimes tempting to give in to the trepidation or try to avoid public tantrums to make life easier. But in the long run, life only makes it harder for you.
How do I stay consistent?So what can you do to stay consistent? These tips will help you and your child stay on track:
1. Set priorities
Do not try to master all educational challenges at once, this can overwhelm you and you may not succeed. First, pick one or two things that you will pay particular attention to. That can z. Such as the tantrums, fighting at bedtime or begging for sweets. Be consistent every single time when these situations occur; Do not give in and do not reward your child's wrong behavior.
second Get Ready for a Longer Process
It may take a while for your child's behavior to improve. Imagine his situation: ""In the past, Mama never really meant when she told me to brush my teeth, but only when she started screaming. Now she is serious about it the first time. I'm confused. ""Change is possible, but maybe not as fast as you would like.
third Find the Right Timing
It would be nice if you could just put in a crash course for appropriate behavior, because a kinship visit is imminent.But you have more success in times when things are calm and predictable. You should not start a new parenting strategy just before the birth of a sibling, before enrollment, or before moving. With rest, patience and a stable structure, the chances of success are considerably greater.
4th Resist Your Resistance
Your child will challenge you no matter how consistent you are. It may also be that it follows well in the beginning, to later fall back into old behaviors. Do not despair - such periodically recurring phases of testing of limits are normal. As you learn to accept these temporary regression, they will make you less frustrated and unable to divert your way.
5th Do not do it single-handedly
Get support. Partners, educators, childminders and grandparents can help you to carry out your new educational concept.
. 6 Be consistent only when it makes sense
Certain things you can dictate to your child, some things you must dictate to him, but other things should be left to the decision of your child. Your child has to hold you by the side of the road, that's for your own safety, there is no way around it. Bedtime rules are important, but you can decide (sometimes together with your child) what happens in the process and when. But there are certain things you have to leave to your child: Do not force yourself to eat your plate when it is not hungry or to go to the bathroom ""for safety's sake"" when you leave the house.
. 7 Now and then, adjust the rules
""If, then"" threats that are not then put into action have an unpleasant consequence: your child will not listen to you and will not take you seriously. It's quite another thing if you allow exceptions for your child and announce them in advance: ""For once you can stay up late today"" - ""Today you played so well with your building blocks all day long! You may exceptionally leave everything that way, then you can continue playing tomorrow "". Such exceptions do not undermine your rules, but even reinforce them.