The stress of young mothers and how to deal with it

5 Tips on Dealing with Stress as a Mom | CloudMom (May 2019).


Is life with a newborn very stressful? No one can foresee what life will be like with a baby. You may smile serenely when you hear tales of crying babies in almost sleepless nights or changing tights for the tenth time in a day. But until you find out for yourself, you can not feel it.

You may be able to reorganize a complete office during your lunch break. However, with a baby you start from scratch and may feel overwhelmed. So if you walk around in pajamas for lunch and you can not pack everything to go shopping - remember: you're not alone!

What problems can occur after birth?

As a newly minted mother, you've just come through the wonderful but extremely stressful experience of a birth (Bandolier 2007). Maybe now the first euphoria about your baby has given way to more desperation.

Your hormones can jump and your happiness can quickly turn into baby blues. These feelings usually reach their peak five to six days after the child is born (Bandolier 2007). You may need to recover from surgery, sutures, or bruising, or you may be suffering from the effects of birth such as back pain, constipation, or hemorrhoids. At the same time, despite permanent lack of sleep, you are trying to find a breastfeeding rhythm with your child (NCCPC 2006: 10).

It's quite possible that your partner will not be better off sleeping. If he is the family breadwinner and loves his family, he tries to do the balancing act between full-time work and family man. If you notice it's getting too much, you might suggest that you sleep separately for the first few weeks.

When your baby is born, you need to recover, both physically and mentally. Being a mother is a long way from an easy exercise.

How much will my baby influence my everyday life?

Reset some gears, because living with an infant can mean chaos. Not only are you so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open, it can be a feat to dress in the morning.

It may seem like your baby needs to be wrapped just when you've got your clothes ready to get dressed or are about to pick up the phone.If you take a hot bath, your baby is guaranteed to cry. If the consolation is finally over, unfortunately, the water has already become cold again. Feeding your baby will make you forget to have your own breakfast.

You are experiencing the scary realization that from now on you are responsible for a little baby. For his care, his protection and his food. And that 24 hours a day, seven days a week, although you have little or no experience or knowledge.

You are expected to go to check-ups with your baby, take care of his mental development and advancement, and sort out the dirty laundry as well. No one should be surprised if you are simply overwhelmed by your new life situation.

How do I learn to handle the stress better?

Getting to know this new creature better, its behavior, its personality, can be stressful. And that, although you were so happy, so happy when it was born.

On some days, grudging responsibility and daily chores leave you no room to enjoy your baby or relax for a while.

But between the sixth and eighth weeks of your baby's life, you will slowly gain security and a certain routine will come. However, if you find this initial phase very tiring, here are some tips:

Find Relaxation

Some days with a baby seem endless. It is worthwhile consciously taking steps that provide variety. Every day, in all weathers, plan a short walk to avoid campers. When your baby cries, put it in the stroller and take your baby for a walk. He can slowly calm down and fall asleep.

Such a small scene change with fresh air and a bit of exercise quickly lifts your mood and that of your baby as well (Bandolier 2007, Daley et al 2007, NCCPC 2006: 29, NHS 2010). You will also experience that you frequently engage in conversation with other people during walks. Especially if you are traveling with your child!

Take care of your diet

Even if it seems totally tempting to grab sweets or nibbles when you feel exhausted - do not do it (Bandolier 2007, DH 2009: 140, NCCPC 2006). With a healthy diet, you can sustainably recover from birth and fill up your energy reserves (DH 2009: 140).

If you do not want to cook extra, grab light snacks and meals. Such as B. a grill potato with tuna and beans or a wholemeal sandwich with hummus and lettuce (DH 2009: 140).

Eat wholegrain products, fresh fruits and vegetables wherever possible (Geary 2010). Proteins such as meat, fish, beans, eggs, cheese, nuts and seeds should also be on your daily diet (Geary 2010).That's important, whether you breastfeed or bottle your baby.

Take care

Do not ask too much of yourself yet. If the laundry is growing and the dishwasher has not been cleared - that can wait. Important at the beginning of your maternity is only the time you spend with your baby.

If you're busy, write a to-do list. Whenever you have done something, put a check mark next to the point. So you can enjoy every evening, when you have done something. About every point you could tick off, even if it was just one … This method is far more satisfying than if you only saw the undetected work (Sharman 2009).

Be as budget-friendly as possible for the first few weeks. Your baby does not care if dust is wiped or freshly vacuumed daily.

Find Like-Minded

If it's your first baby, you'll probably feel lonely at times and cut off from your old world. It's quite possible that your partner will do the same. Although there are some ways to maintain old friendships DH 2009: 145).

Try to stay in touch with mothers or parents from the birth preparation class. So you can exchange ideas and your children will get to know each other gradually. But even if you have not attended a course, there are many opportunities to socialize and meet other mothers.

If you do not know any other parents or mothers in your next home, try a mom-and-miss group. It takes a bit of overcoming, but it allows you to make new contacts and get the chance to make new friends (Bandolier 2007, DH 2009: 150).

You think you're the only one with rings under your eyes and milk stains on your T-shirt? Are you convinced that any other mother will cope with the new situation more calmly and calmly than you, coping better with all the challenges of the new motherhood than you? You will find out in the group that the other mothers are the same or worse than you. The exchange of experiences and the knowledge that other mothers are just like you will be good for you. You are not alone, you are not an incompetent mother and everything will be fine.

Ask your gynecologist / gynecologist and midwife for a nearby mother-and-child group. Go, even if you are not really convinced (DH 2009: 150, NCCPC 2006). Getting to know other mothers and perhaps even making new friends can become a lifeline and save you from loneliness. There may also be maternal and child gymnastics groups, where the sessions are combined with light gymnastics.

Accept help

Accept any help offered to you (Bandolier 2007, DH 2009: 143).If your mom wants to take your shopping and your girlfriend offers ironing assistance - do not be shy, say YES. All these offers are a help for you and do not show your weakness. Get a visit, do not offer tea, but ask your visit to cook you tea. If the help is not available, then read our tips on how to come to the rescue.

Take some time for yourself

Even if you can not lie down with your child for a while, it's important to take a break, no matter how brief. Take a break from time to time and treat yourself to something good. Whether it's a hot bath, painting your fingernails, reading a few pages of a book or newspaper, or talking to a friend. No matter, the main thing, you are doing well (DH 2009: 142, Sharman 2009).

If you are very tired but have no sleep, close your eyes for 10 minutes and relax (DH 2009: 142). Just rest, meditate, or do some yoga exercises that you learned during birth preparation.

When will my baby and I get some routine?

If your environment asks you if your baby already has a certain amount of routine, this question will probably seem very strange to you. Baby and routine, that contradicts?

But there's good news: The more you and your baby get to know each other, the sooner you'll recognize your needs and know what your baby likes and does not like.

After the first six weeks, your baby may start with some nursing and sleep routine. But also, if not, do not worry, with each week you both learn to do so. Some babies take longer than others.

If the daily routine is more routine, it can be better planned for the next day, for example, the check-ups with the pediatrician or the visit to the mother-child group. All of this works better if you feel that you have a little bit more control over your daily routine.

Even if your life changes completely from the moment of parenthood, the efforts of the first weeks of life are over. If not now, then soon. Do not worry!

Read our Fathers tips on how to get started with a newborn for the first few weeks.


Bandolier. 2007.

Healthy postnatal care


Daley J, Macarthur C, Winter, H., 2007. The role of exercise in treating postpartum depression: a review of the literature. J of Midwife and WH 52 (1): 56-62 DH. 2009. Your own life. In: Birth to five

. 137-150

Geary A. 2010. The Mind Guide to Food and Mood. London: Mind. NCCPC. 2006. Postnatal care: Routine postnatal care of women and their babies

. National Collaborating Center for Primary Care.

NHS 2010. Babies, crying . NHS Choices, Health A-Z.

Sharman J. 2009. The Mind Guide to Managing Stress . London: Mind.

Show sources Hide sources

Popular Posts

Recommended 2019

How to organize a trip with a child
Games and entertainment

How to organize a trip with a child

Many people stop traveling as soon as children are born in their family. Others, on the contrary, see absolutely no obstacles in taking a child on a trip. Nowadays even infants can be seen on airplanes whose parents take them on a journey. To decide at what age to take the child on a journey, each parent must independently
Read More
How to cope with stress during pregnancy
Pregnancy and childbirth

How to cope with stress during pregnancy

Unfortunately, in modern life it is rarely possible to do without stress, from time to time there are not very pleasant situations that make you very nervous. It is considered that stress is harmful for pregnant women, in order to understand whether it is true or not, you need to understand what stress is and how it affects the human body in general
Read More
Twins' parents

Twins' parents

I'm a mother of twins - how can I make things easier? With a single child, many parents already feel fully occupied, but having two babies at the same time can cause a real shock. Often the stress is unintentionally intensified by the reactions of the family or friends. Few parents get the support they need.
Read More
What to do if a teenager runs away from home

What to do if a teenager runs away from home

The puberty period is a critical age, during which a complex restructuring of the child’s body occurs, his outlook and sense of himself change. The consequence of this may be the appearance of various contradictions. Escaping a teenager from home is one of the most difficult problems that parents have to solve together with psychologists.
Read More
How often to bathe a newborn
Baby care

How often to bathe a newborn

With proper organization of the bathing process, the procedure for parents and their baby will be very pleasant and entertaining. In general, bathing is designed not only to ensure the cleanliness of the child’s body, but also, to a greater extent, contributes to its hardening and physical development.
Read More
How to make a children's newspaper
Games and entertainment

How to make a children's newspaper

To make a children's newspaper does not need to be a professional publisher. All you need is fantasy, skillful hands and a bit of free time. Be sure to involve in the joint work of children. Let them be the main authors, and you just help arrange the product beautifully. You will need 1. Whatman paper; 2
Read More
Nighttime emissions in adolescents
Baby development

Nighttime emissions in adolescents

Pollution is called spontaneous and uncontrollable ejaculation, which is not related to sexual intercourse, as well as to masturbation. As a rule, nighttime emissions appear in adolescents during sleep and indicate their entry into puberty. It is worth noting that this phenomenon is considered an absolute normal physiological act and a sign of good work of the sex glands
Read More
Fine motor development games
Baby development

Fine motor development games

The most important way of knowing the world for a child is a game. Newborns need to play almost as much as in communication. Dexterity and accuracy of small fingers depends on the nervous, muscular and skeletal system in combination with visual coordination. Therefore, the development of fine motor skills of hands is very important for the unborn child
Read More