the decision to conceive using a donor with the help of donated sperm has far-reaching consequences. Not only for you, but also for your partner (if you have one), the rest of your family and especially for the developing child. Any treatment that supports conception can be very stressful. At conception with the help of a donor, however, you have to make many more decisions and overcome problems.
Before embarking on the long journey of conception with the help of a donor, you need to understand your feelings and how you want to deal with them now and in the future.
Is conception right for you with the help of a donor?Once you reach this point, it means you have many other ways to become a child. A sense of loss can be unavoidable if you have to give up hope that you can have a child with the person you love. Women who have decided to walk this path alone may also experience some kind of sadness when they have to give up hope of having a child with a partner.
If you've made that decision after years of fertility testing and treatment, your partner may feel abandoned by his body. You may wonder if you and your relationship can endure even more stress - or you may feel stronger because you've been through so much together. Conception with the help of a donor may then appear as the next logical step. Even so, it can still be hard to accept the idea of using someone else's genetic material to get pregnant. You and your partner may have a different attitude to conception with the help of a donor. One of you may not feel as comfortable as the other in imagining that a child with only partial or no genetic reference is conceived and raised. Even if this is the only option, these feelings may seem insurmountable to some.
Talking about your feelings with your partner or someone close to you can actually help. It is also helpful to learn about the problems of couples who have already completed the treatment.
Alternatively, you can get advice from an expert specializing in fertility issues and their treatment.
How will I deal with my child's questions?
If you decide to tackle the issue, you first need to understand how to deal with the questions that your child will ask as he gets older.In the beginning, you have to decide who you want to tell about your decision - that includes your family, friends and strangers - and it's also important how you tell them.
The most important person is of course your child. How will you respond to the question of where it comes from?
Openness from the beginning can be the best policy, as this ensures that the fact that it was conceived with the help of a donor becomes part of his story for the child and thus feels like a normal part of his life as he grows up becomes. If there are any comments or questions from other family members or friends, your child knows how to respond.
You should also seek advice (if you have not already) from someone who is not directly involved in the treatment. This will help you to think through the physical and psychological burden of procreation with the help of a donor for you, your partner and your family (NCCWCH 2004: 131).
Your child's right to information
In 1989, the Federal Constitutional Court granted every human being the right to know their own descent. The child conceived with the help of a sperm donor can contest his legitimacy according to BGB within a period of two years from the age of 18 or from knowledge of his procreation by a sperm donation.The Child Rights Improvement Act, which came into force in 2002, ensures that the social father, who has consented to a sperm donation, meets his or her maintenance obligations - even in the event of separation. The law grants the child a right to the maintenance and inheritance of the recipient couple.
The same donor may be the biological father of many more children. This is one of the reasons why it is important that your child is informed about his or her background when the time comes. So it can make sure that it will not marry someone and have children with whom it is partially related.
Some adults conceived with the help of a donor are not interested in finding out about their biological father, while others want to know as much as possible. You need to be prepared for both options and support your child in their choice.
Learn about how other parents coped with their teens, who were conceived with the help of a donor.
Further possibilities of assistance and assistance in Germany
The German IVF Register is a measure of quality assurance, which since 1982 collects data from the field of human reproductive medicine in Germany.
- Family foundation with donor sperm.Information of the family handbook of the State Institute for Early Childhood Education (IFP) with further links and literature tips.
- Donor Semen is a group of affected parents and couples who meet regularly to discuss donor child education and donor sperm treatment.
- Lesbian Health. de is a portal that also deals with the issue of having children in lesbian women.
- What is different in sperm donation in Austria?
Austrian sperm donors must agree with their attribution The child has from the age of 15 the right to know the name of his biological father.The semen of a semen dispenser may be max. for 3 couples (married couples or couples in a marriage cohabitation). A couple, on the other hand, may receive several sperm donations from the same donor.
Further information for Austria can be found here:
The Austrian Reproductive Medicine Act (FMedG) contains the legal provisions
- The Society for Reproductive Medicine and Endocrinology Univ. Prof. Dr. Zech is a facility for couples with unfulfilled desire for children.
- Family foundation with donor sperm. Information of the family handbook of the State Institute for Early Childhood Education (IFP) with further links and literature tips for Germany, Austria, Sweden and Norway.
- Association self-help group WUKI-KIWU (Wunschkind-Kinderwunsch).
- Which requirements for sperm donations apply in Switzerland?
Unlike abroad, foreign donations are only possible in Switzerland under certain conditions. They are regulated by the Federal Act on Medically Assisted Reproduction (FmedG). For a sperm donation, the following conditions must be fulfilled:The couple must be married and, on the basis of their age and ""personal circumstances, may be expected to care for their child until the child reaches maturity"".
- All other therapies have not resulted in pregnancy.
- The use of the husband's seed would risk transferring a severe, incurable disease to the baby.
- The law requires that the affected couple, prior to a sperm donation, be informed by a physician about:
the various causes of infertility
- the medical procedure and its chances of success and dangers
- the risk a possible multiple pregnancy
- possible psychological and physical burdens
- the legal and financial aspects.
- If you have chosen a donation with your husband, you must record this in writing. This commitment is valid for three attempts. Afterwards you must again announce in writing that you want a donation, whereby again a retention period of approximately four weeks should be kept.
Then, find a medically ideal donor that is not related to you. Apart from medical reasons, no further selection criteria should be taken into account. However, a donor may be sought who has both a similar blood type and a similar appearance to your husband.
Only semen from a single donor may be used per cycle. Each donor may not produce more than eight children.
The sperm donation does not happen anonymously. All key data and personal information of the donor will be sent to the Federal Office of Civil Status after the birth of your child. Here, the information is kept for 80 years, so that the child can ask for information about his biological father after reaching the age of 18 years.
Pursuant to law, a paternity suit against the donor is not possible. Likewise, the child can not file a lawsuit against the husband for child identification.
Our expert: Dr. med. Robert Fischer from Fertility Center Hamburg. He is a gynecologist specializing in gynecological endocrinology and reproductive medicine, in particular assisted reproduction.
HFEA. 2007. Infertility 2007/08: The HFEA guide. London: Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority. www. HFEA. gov. uk [PDF 998 KB; As of May 2007]
Fertility: assessment and treatment for people with fertility problems - full guideline. National Collaborating Center for Women's and Children's Health. London: RCOG Press. www. rcog. org. uk [PDF 1. 24MB; As of August 2009] Family foundation with donor sperm. Information of the family handbook of the State Institute for Early Childhood Education (IFP) with further links and literature tips.
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